"Now is not the time. I might adopt someday when we are finished having birth children."
Certainly families who are not able to have children by birth often find adoption as a beautiful way to grow a family. And then there are families that have had birth children and wish for more children but can’t or don’t want to have more children by birth for some reason. These families also find adoption a beautiful way to grow a family.
But we have a challenging question. Should we really only consider adoption if we are not able to add have more children by birth? What is God’s heart toward children who don’t have families?
The vast majority of couples are able to have children by birth. If only those who could not have children by birth were adopting there would not be enough homes available for children who are waiting for families.
Adoption is a wonderful way to add children to your family. We have adopted intermixed with having children by birth and found each and every child a blessing to our family, whether they joined us by birth or by adoption. Please reconsider. If you have considered adoption, why wait until you can’t have children. While you are waiting, children are living without families. Bring a child home now.
"I don’t have enough space for more children."
We had a pastor from Malawi come and stay with our family. He was in the United States with Gospel Link raising awareness of the need for supporting indigenous pastors to take the gospel to the unsaved in their own countries. His name was Pastor Samuel. He spoke at our church service and spent the night with us at our home. What a pleasure it was to meet this pastor and share his love for the lost.
As we sat at breakfast together, Pastor Samuel looked around our table at our 12 children and the talk turned to adoption. We talked about making space for more children in a home in order to adopt. Pastor Samuel sat there looking at us with a disconnected look. He could not process what we were explaining about the need to find ways for families to make space in their homes for more children. He finally said, “In Malawi, if you have more space on the floor of your house to fit another body for sleeping, you adopt a child.” Wow. What an outlook. We are so focused on how much personal space a child needs, while there in Malawi they are talking about basic life needs of shelter and family love. If a family in Malawi is willing to adopt a child with only so small of a dwelling that they can just add one more sleeping mat on the floor, can we not rethink our need for “enough space?”
The reality is that children in this country are growing up without families because there are families who feel that they do not have enough space for more children. There are children in other countries who are living on the streets because there are not enough adoptive families. In the big scheme of things, how much space are these children wishing for in a home? I don’t think they are considering space. I think they are considering having their basic needs met day by day and it would never cross their minds that they would rather not have a family because they might have too little personal space in the home.
So would you reconsider the amount of space that you have? Could you make it work to bring home a child?
We understand that sometimes the adoption agency that you are working with may wish for a certain amount of space per child. But a little thinking outside the box can usually help with that. For instance, at one point in our old home we needed more space for children, so we moved our bed to what would have traditionally been the living room. That made more bedroom space available for the children. Another time, we closed in the eat-in side of the kitchen to make another bedroom available for children. There are many ways to think outside of the box and make your home work for another child or children. If you want help brainstorming ideas for your home, feel free to contact us.